we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
