You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
