wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
