Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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