He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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