I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
