I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
