I'm so fucking centered right now
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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