I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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