you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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