I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
