Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
