I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
