dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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