SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
