remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Randomize
