he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
