Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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