if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
