apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
