woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
