I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
