Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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