Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
