3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
