Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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