the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
