you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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