dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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