So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
