i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
