So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You are a genius and a whore.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
