you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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