so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
