i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
