Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
