Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize