its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
