i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
