I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
