Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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