you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
