Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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