Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I can feel your judgement through the phone
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
