i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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