Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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