Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
