I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize