well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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