we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
