Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
