There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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