I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
