there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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