my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
God I need to hump something, right now.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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