Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
