I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize