it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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