There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
