i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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