actually, I'm a sock model
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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